Memories of Menarche

I was 11 when I first saw my blood. My anxiety of "not being matured like my friends" had turned into a thrilling apprehension of what's to come next. I was at my school when I first bled. I asked my teacher and she confirmed that I officially entered the phase of monthly cycles, while noting the time of my first period. "It's just bad blood, don't worry," said one of my classmates, trying to placate me. But I was too happy to care. Relieved and anxious at the same time, I reached home with my mom chiding me for not staying back home despite spotting the night before.

Back home, I was greeted with a bed made of freshly woven palm leaves and a whole bunch of female relatives sporting their appreciative smiles. Then the celebrations began!

My first period was celebrated with pomp. It was three days of worshipping and pampering. In my native tongue, the celebration is called "Peddamanishi Pandaga", marking my transition into womanhood. I was thrilled and scared at the same time. I did not know back then what it really implied. "You are mature now!" they said. Physically? Maybe. Emotionally? Hell no! Relatives I did not know of streamed into my room with gifts and gushing appreciations and wishes. To say that I was surprised and embarrassed was an understatement. There was a lot of period talk going around me in my vernacular and advice poured in, which by the way, I had no clue how to make use of. I now knew why the women in my family stay secluded and untouched once every month.

The fourth day was no less ostentatious than a big fat wedding. That function was actually supposed to take place on either the 5th or the 11th day after my first period but due to the time constraints of all the guests, they planned to do it on my 4th day. I was adorned in a gorgeous dress with wonderful ornaments. I even wore what we call "poola jada" i.e., intricately decorating the hair with flowers like a bride. I was showered with appreciations and gifts. The food was delicious! Finally, after a round of family photos, I was taken home. It was a very long day with people all around me, posing and smiling at the camera every time someone came up the stage. It took me a lot of effort to not really smile wide as a tooth was missing. That's my best memory of the function. I have a great picture wherein I am smiling uninhibitedly as my mother asked me to.

After the celebrations were done and life went back to normal, my next period came in less than 15 days. And my mother was really unhappy. She told me not to run around and be gentle with everything I do. Basically, she wanted me to the opposite of everything that I used to be. There were plans for an encore celebration to which my mother said NO. Everyone was disappointed and I was secretly relieved that I could just sleep. Since then, every month, there comes a week wherein I’m the princess who gets to stay in her room unperturbed and all necessities catered to. The privacy and queenly treatment are still as amazing as it was during my first period but the mindset behind the practices is a little disconcerting. My mother tries to answer my questions to the best of her knowledge and it keeps me from doing something erratic. My father would worship the Devi in the next room while I would be cooped up in my room, all alone with several things swimming in my head. I am revered yet feared. It left me with several questions to which no one would answer. OR maybe they had no answer. I always heard, “you are not mature enough to understand those things” or simply, “why do you always ask questions!” A year later, chapter 8 (CBSE kids, you know what chapter I'm talking about) of my Science textbook informed me that my first period is called “menarche” and my monthly cycle is known as “menstruation.”

Several people shame and discard some or all of the practices associated with 'taboo'. And a sizeable chunk practices them to the T, wherein a few of them are interested to know the origin and relevance of these practices. Some blindly follow them. And the rest—like me—want to know the significance and then follow the practices which are convenient to them.

I am determined to find out about the menstrual practices of our land to quench my curiosity and to be able to follow my own practices with more conviction according to the age we live in. I am also determined to figure out how these practices all across the subcontinent have transitioned from practices to taboo over the years.