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Article by Mahek Kasim Dange
I have always wondered how something so natural can become a taboo, and is even considered shameful and what not. The way my mother would not say the word “period” out loud or the fact that my dad would just feel uncomfortable whenever I’d say that I got my periods, would make me feel “dirty” or as if I had something I had to hide. I cannot entirely blame them, though. They grew up in an environment where men did not know the M of menstruation and would live in a bubble where periods never existed, and women would not dare pop their bubble. And the cherry on top is of course the superstitions that would make women feel like witches on those 7-8 days!
History has witnessed humans doing things blindly in the name of religion, so why should menstruation be any different, right? I always thought that those “superstitions” and bashing women was a part of my religion or rooted from my religion because my questions were always given vague answers like, “because it is said that women are impure”, “because that is what is said” etc. Sure, my whats were answered (kind of), but my whys were too “outspoken” or “bold” for them. So, I finally did what I should have done since the beginning, i.e., I did my own research. I cannot emphasize enough how important it is to do your own research instead of letting someone else's research control you. Honestly, more than half of the misunderstandings and problems in our world would be sorted, if people just authentically educated themselves instead of becoming slaves of someone else’s understanding. Anyways, implied bottom line being: DO YOUR OWN RESEARCH!
Turns out my religion has absolutely nothing to do with these “Let’s shame women on every occasion possible!” kind of campaigns that are proudly run by our very own uncles, aunties, in some cases even our parents and how can we forget – complete strangers behind the screens! Unlike all these baseless traditions, Islam’s take on menstruation makes sense to me. I am still learning, but here is what I’ve got until now.
The most asked question has always been – Why can’t women pray or fast while on periods? It is because we are considered “ritually unclean” during our periods. When you give it a first look, it does seem senseless and even offensive, but that is because this is just one side of the coin. In the Quranic Ayah “The Pure Ones”, it is not only the menstruating women that are told that they must not pray or fast, but ***any person that is in “ritual impurity”***, whether it be male or female. So, if a man is ritually impure because, for example, he has had sexual intercourse or has had a wet dream, he cannot pray until he is ***“ritually clean”***! Women just have the added benefit that they are excused from having to make up for those prayers whereas men must make up for their prayers!
I figured that Islam does not really look at the word “impure” the way we do. Sure, it is an offensive word when used to describe someone, but there is way more to it. To really make you understand, let's have a common ground here. Period blood, in a lay man’s language, is nothing but bodily waste, carrying away biological material that is no longer needed, including a large burden of solid cellular matter from the lining of the uterus. It’s only “dirty” in the sense that it’s not pure enough to give someone a transfusion of it. It's as “dirty” or as “clean” as earwax. I would not go much into the biology for the sole reason of sucking at it. That blood, which is not even entirely blood, is nothing but a medium for wastes and other things to leave our body just like urine or poop. But the thing with periods is that we bleed throughout the day and during the night. It's not like we use the restroom every time we need to “period”, although now that I think about it, it would have been so very convenient! But that is not the case. Now that I have established, or tried to establish, what “impure” refers to it is not something that is considered “pure” or “clean” or “hygienic” just like other wastes such as urine or poop. We bleed throughout, and it is always with us, and because we are always in the state where we carry the “impurity”, we are not exactly clean i.e., “impure”. I accept that it still sounds very wrong, even to me, but this is the basic idea behind it. Please bear with me. I will try to make it as clear as possible soon. It has nothing to do with the general idea of something “gross” or “disgusting” or anything of that sort. But the way society looks at religion calling it “impure” and the way they react to it by literally shunning women out of the kitchen and not allowing the women to touch anything because they are considered “dirty” and “unclean” is just pathetic. But then again, why would our patriarchal and misogynistic fellow members of the “society” stop and think.
Here is what our beloved Prophet Muhammad (Peace Be Upon Him) thought of menstruation. Before the time of the prophet (PBUH), men would refuse to go near their wives when they were on their periods. They would not eat with them, drink with them or even go near them. Hence, companions proceeded to ask the prophet (PBUH) about this to which he replied that, “Do everything with her except for sexual intercourse.” [Muslim; ibn Hajar, Fath al-Bari]
The above hadith (a record of the words, actions, and the silent approval of the Islamic prophet Muhammad (PBUH)) makes it clear to both Muslim men and women that a husband needs to act favorably towards his wife even when she is menstruating. She should not be ignored or shunned away, and instead, they should continue to live as companions for the sake of Allah. There are many instances where we can prove that our Prophet (PBUH) treated menstruating women “normally” and with care, like he always would.
I would like to point out that every gender MUST do a ritual called the “wudu” or ablution. It is a ritual that is needed to “clean” our selves before every prayer (and there are 5 obligatory prayers in a day). Here, just because we need to clean ourselves, does not necessarily mean that we were dirty in the first place. Throughout the day, we use the restroom and to get ritually clean from that, we perform wudu. It’s not much. The wudu consists of a few steps and no it is not bathing; after that, you can proceed with your prayer. And, if you are in the state of wudu, and you happen to use the restroom again or pass gas, you are to perform wudu again if you are going to pray. Similarly, when a woman is done with her periods, she needs to do “ghusl”. You can think of it as an extended wudu which consists of steps and is done while taking a bath. Ghusl is not something that is only done by women after they are done with menstruation. It also needs to be done by a man after he has had sexual intercourse, or anything of that sort. Just how wudu makes everyone “pure enough” or “ritually clean” to pray, ghusl makes the women “pure enough” or “ritually clean” to commence with their prayers and fasts after their menstruation is over. I like to look at it as a spiritual “come back” into the game. 😆
Yes, a woman is not supposed to pray or fast during her periods, but that does not mean that she cannot make du’aa (invocation or call out to Allah (SWT)). Her tongue is still considered “pure”, with which she can read the Qur’an on her phone or recite ayas (verses of the Holy Quran) and all of that. It is not like she cannot touch the prayer mat and things of that sort. Although when it comes to the Holy Book, there are rules on how to handle the book. I hope till now you may have attained a certain understanding of what the words “clean”, “pure”, “impure” mean in Islam and can see a difference from how you would normally use them.
Shaming women for something so natural, is plain WRONG and using religion to back it up is just PATHETIC and INFURIATING!! And speaking for myself, all these rules honestly give me a breather from my day-to-day stuff. Allah making it compulsory or rather “forbidding” us from fasting IS A GOOD THING because you don’t want to try going without a bite of food and a drop of water for 11-20 hours straight along with excruciating cramps and back pain and annoying mood swings and let's not forget the day to day chores of cleaning, cooking for iftar (meal used to break the fast at dawn) during Ramadan (which turns out to be a huge feast) and so much more! It’s almost like God knows that these gender roles are not changing anytime soon, so let’s give the women a break. Not having to pray 5 times a day during periods is honestly a blessing in disguise. Prayers are considered “fardh”, i.e., compulsory and so not praying has consequences on the day of judgement, but that is another story. This is to emphasize on how important those prayers are and yet Allah omitted them for us. Personally, I think that is beautiful. So, if the Almighty Allah has granted us the permission to relax and rest and have a breather, why on earth would society want to paint it as something else? Oh wait! How can I forget? If they don’t, how else are they going to feel in charge of what women can and cannot do and what better way to do that than pouncing on the opportunity of mistreating them by shunning them and labeling them “dirty” when that is especially the time, they are supposed to treat us like queens? I could honestly go on and on, but I assume you get my point.
Now I am no expert when it comes to my religion, but I for a fact know that there is always a good reason behind my Lord’s rules and ain’t nobody going to paint that red for me! All I am saying is to give things a deeper thought than our great members of “society” did and just think for yourselves. Sure, even I do find gray areas, but I’d rather keep looking for answers than settle for anything that would include shaming, belittling, demonizing, or hurting someone and I hope I convinced you to do the same through this little article of mine. I mean, “It is our choices, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities” right? 😜
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